You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
