Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
