your room smells of hookers.
And success
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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