Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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