He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
