So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
