He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize