I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
