Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
