He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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