does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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