i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
