We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
