my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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