Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize