I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
