Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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