nut hugger
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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