New invention idea: vibrating tampons
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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