And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My dick has a subreddit
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
