A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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