so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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