there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
