She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
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Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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