Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
