can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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