we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
