I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
