how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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