I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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