I'm really into asian looking animals
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
