Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
