You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
