Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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