Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
