I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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