Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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