I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize