at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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