The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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