Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
