If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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