he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
