dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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