At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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