The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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