your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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