he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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