Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
