Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
