We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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