I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm at about main and main street
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
