idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
