i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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