would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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