some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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