How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
