My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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