I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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