Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
