She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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