this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
