Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just want to make out with him forever
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
