What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think your dad took our porno
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
