You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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